Apparently, some editions of the movie Sideways that are edited for play on airlines (similar to the editing done in order to meet FCC censorship requirements for broadcast) have replaced the vulgar slang "asshole" with "Ashcroft" according to the Washington Post last week (Name-Calling in Its Purest Form):

You're an Ashcroft! No, you're the Ashcroft!

Imagine hearing that exchange in a movie -- you'd think that Hollywood had come up with a crazy new insult. Well, it turns out that some airline passengers watching the Oscar-nominated film "Sideways" on foreign flights are, in fact, hearing "Ashcroft" as a substitute for a certain seven-letter epithet commonly used to denote a human orifice.

Perhaps this is a compromise solution to the FCC's censorship worries. FCC regulations could require that profane and indecent language be replaced with variations of the commissioners' names. For example:

• Instead of "asshole" - Adelstein or Abernathy
• Instead of "cock," "cunt" or "crap" - Copps
• Instead of "motherfucker" - Martin Pucker